Target Practice

December 29, 2009
* Disclaimer *  The following post contains simmering anger.  I’m not going to edit it, or try to make it witty.  But I’ve got to get it OUT.  Read at your own risk.

I was playing on the floor with Blythe when I heard a knock on the door.  Since I didn’t hear a car pull up, I figured it was one of our employees. 

Nope, it was code enforcement and a Sheriff.  Turns out, someone made a couple of complaints about us, and they were here to investigate.  Complaint #1: A diesel tank.  About a year ago, we had a diesel tank put on the edge of our property.  Before we could even start looking into installing it and having it filled, one of our neighbors (we have very few) threw a hissy fit about it.  We decided not to use it, and had it removed.  End of story, right?  Wrong.  But clearly it’s not even THERE anymore, so on to…

Complaint #2: Someone reportedly living in a motor home on our property.  Um, do you SEE anyone living in a motor home?  Yes, we do have an old motor home sitting over there in the corner, we used to use it for Jeremy’s softball tournaments.  The whole team would ride up in there.  But, clearly, it hasn’t been used in quite some time, and no, other than BUGS, there is no one living there.

So after they left, satisfied that no codes needed enforcing, I called Jeremy and was all, WTF is up with our neighbors?  It turns out, Jeremy HAD gone into the motor home that morning to take out anything he wanted to keep, because he was having someone pick it up and scrap it.  So, now we aren’t even allowed to STEP FOOT IN OUR OWN MOTOR HOME, on OUR OWN PROPERTY, without someone turning us into code enforcement for LIVING IN IT.

I probably would be able to just laugh it off if someone hadn’t turned us in a couple of weeks ago for “illegally installing a pool”.  I was out front, minding my own business, when the county inspector drove up.  But um, yeah, that pool’s been there for YEARS.  Turns out, though, we had a few other issues, now that WE WERE BEING PUT UNDER A MICROSCOPE. 

But, fortunately, that’s all being taken care of.  And, miracle of miracles, the people on the county side of things are being very nice and helpful.  And the inspector fell in love with Bella while he was here, and decided to adopt her, so that was an added bonus.

The thing is: why do our (very few) neighbors HATE US?  When we moved here, they told us to GO BACK TO THE CITY.  But we’re not even FROM the city, we’re from, like, a mile away.  So we fixed up what had been a condemned house, landscaped, cleaned the place up.  Installed nice fences, slowly accumulated cattle and farm equipment.  We keep our fields irrigated and cut.  When Jeremy’s out there, he even cuts and/or discs our neighbor’s property FOR FREE if they want. 

We also share a gravel road with a few people.  When we moved here, it was full of potholes and was down to dirt in a lot of places.  EVERY YEAR, we pay for more base rock to be delivered, and we (and by we I mean Jeremy, of course) smooth it out.  EVERY YEAR, they get their road repaired FOR FREE.

We’ve done nothing but bring their home values UP.  So what’s the problem?  Is it the fact that we have all our teeth?  Is it because we don’t have a yard full of junked up cars?  Is it because our animals are well taken care of, and we don’t live in a mobile home?  Is it because we don’t cook crystal meth in our barn?  Is it because we shower regularly?

Tell me, people.  TELL ME.

And a word of advice:  if ever you decide to move to a ranch for all that space and privacy, try to buy like a hundred acres, and put your house right in the middle.  Because apparently, 11 acres is NOT ENOUGH SPACE for people to get up out of your business. 

Originally Posted at The Sweet Life 8/22/2008 11:20 am


  • 8/22/2008 12:49 PM Rightmyer Rants wrote:
    Unfucking believable! I thought my neighbors were bad, but man, your’s definitely take the prize!
  • 8/22/2008 2:07 PM jesse wrote:
    this type of shit happens because there are so many petty jealous insecure people who are to cowardly to handle their personal conflicts openly because it would expose and confirm their own inadequesies and weak character…..thats what i think
  • 8/22/2008 2:39 PM Lauren wrote:
    Bi-zarre!On a lighter note, how was kindergarten this week? I loved the photos. What a big step (for everyone!).

    Have a great weekend!

    1. 8/22/2008 3:09 PM Andrea Edwards wrote:
      It was a rough week.  Tears every day.  But I think next week will be a whole lot better.  I’m hoping so, anyway!  Thanks for asking! 
      Reply to this
  • 8/22/2008 6:50 PM Kia wrote:
    i think you’re all just too good-looking. and, if you do all indeed have all your teeth, that pretty much clinches it, no?in all seriousness though, i feel for you. it must be awful knowing that you’re being watched all the time and with no valid reasons. some people have far too much time on their hands…
  • 8/22/2008 7:51 PM anymommy wrote:
    It’s definitely the teeth. Tooth-jealousy is a well known neighbor phenomena.No, I don’t know why people are horrible. They just are! I’m sorry. It should make you feel a little better that they are totally wasting the county’s time?
  • 8/22/2008 10:51 PM heather… wrote:
    WOW…I am baffled!!! You guys sound like excellent neighbors (and I already know that you are EXCELLENT people). I really honestly think that it must be jealousy. You guys are young and successful, you have a beautiful family, and like you said – you have all your teeth. I’m sorry you have to deal with these people daily. What a PAIN!
  • 8/23/2008 5:03 AM Sophie,Inzaburbs wrote:
    That sucks. Like the people said, petty jealousy.I know this won’t make you feel better but… we were talking about rats. Watch them in a pet store – part of their fight for dominance is standing on each others heads. This is why in our weird in-house language, your neighbors would be known as “Rats”. They are just trying to prove in some pathetic way, and against all odds, that they are better than you.

    Maybe they should try tooth implants.

    Hope you have a better weekend!

  • 8/24/2008 3:00 PM Amy in Ohio wrote:
    Yuck, how crappy. But keep your head up. It’s there loss really as you folks are wonderful.We don’t have the best of neighbors either and though it would be nice to be surrounded by folks you like and relate to, sometimes it’s just not a reality.

    I think your the bees’ knees!

  • 8/26/2008 6:28 AM Barbie wrote:
    You are too funny. I know you weren’t laughing but I was. Very weird and bizarre indeed. Still lol’ing at the cooking meth reference.glad to have stumbled upon you through All Mediocre.

    I will certainly keep up on your law breaking

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